Updated: Nov 19, 2022
What Can I Do To Save My Relationship?
Stop blaming, criticizing or belittling your partner.
These 3 things undermine the very foundations of your relationship.
This one change in behaviour can change the whole direction of your relationship.
Many couples simply don’t realise the impact of these 3 behaviours on their partner and relationship.
There are many reasons why people do these things. Often, they are trying to control the relationship, maybe it comes from a place of insecurity or fear. Maybe they don’t feel as loved as they would like to, maybe they suffer with anxiety and need things to be done a certain way. Often, it is because their needs are not being met, and, though this is their responsibility, they may think it is their partners’ job to make sure their needs are being met.
Sometimes though, it is learned behaviour. It is accepted and made a joke of sometimes, that wives nag or criticize their husbands. Husbands are guilty of this also. Yet, it is so destructive in relationships.
When we meet the person we choose to spend our lives with, often we fall for them because we feel like they truly ‘see’ us, and accept us for who we are, flaws and all.
Yet, after years of being together, that person can be the one who tries to change us to suit their needs. It can happen both ways, with both partners treating each other in that way. Sadly, this chips away at the connection between them and, over time, their relationship fades away and resentment builds.
Criticism causes conflict, it causes people to shut down and no longer share their feelings. Communication then closes down, self-esteem can be damaged and resentment can build.
Blaming your partner can have the same impact. If you are blaming your partner for things on a regular basis, don’t expect that they will want to be as loving and close to you as they once were. No one feels good when they are being blamed, criticised or belittled and when your partner feels good about themselves, and you are part of that, you are now in a place where you can build up your loving connection again.
Therefore, wouldn't you like to bring out the best in your partner?
Do you see that when they are happy you get the best of them?
Creating an environment where your partner feels loved, and appreciated and that they can be themselves is ideal for a loving and connected relationship.
The first step you can take towards creating that for them is to stop blaming, criticizing or belittling them.
Doing this may sound simple but it is not necessarily easy! It is a habit that needs to be broken. If you recognize these behaviours in yourself and/or your partner please get in touch. Coaching can help you to recognize these behaviours and take steps to change them in a positive and impactful way.
Book your complimentary consultation here.