Updated: Nov 21, 2022
I feel that this question must be on your mind if you are here, reading this.
It is the question every couple who comes to see me wants the answer to. “Will coaching save my marriage?” Whether you are married or in a long term relationship then please read on. Rather than answer with a straight yes or no I will discuss this in more depth.
When Coaching does work:
When both partners commit to the process
When both partners are open to exploring and learning
When both partners are ready to take action
When they are both willing to become a team again
The couples who work with me want to bring their best self to the relationship. No matter how bad things are, if you are both willing to come to coaching then there is much hope. Sometimes all we need is to know what to do and how to do it. That's where coaching can help you.
If you have ever felt like you just don't know what to do to fix things, no matter what you try, then coaching is your next option.
I will teach you the tools that you need to reconnect again. Through a deeper understanding of yourself and your partner you will notice things start to change and shift in your marriage.
Where there would, at one time, been conflict, now becomes a short conversation or not even noticeable.
When couples get married or settle down for a future together it is most likely that they hav not agreed upon any sort of intention or planning ahead to ensure it works. They assume that it will work because of how they feel about each other.
Unfortunately, life has its challenges, time changes things, and sometimes, before they know it, things have changed between them.
Conflict or arguments can become more of the norm. Disconnection and a feeling of insignificance can set in. Some things just don't feel the same anymore. Or silence ensues, contempt or disdain can be common feelings. All of these things can have a knock-on effect and behaviour towards each other changes a lot compared to the times following the marriage.
If you come to coaching with a strong desire to make it work, no matter how hopeless it may seem, you may just discover a new way to be with your partner. It will take focus, and commitment, and time, but if you are both wanting to make it work then I am confident that you can.
You will learn how to meet your partner's needs and your own.
You will learn how to communicate effectively.
You will learn what you need to know to understand your partner.
You will receive action plans to help you to change what needs changing.
When it can't work:
Coaching doesn't always bring a couple back together. It doesn’t work if the couple being coached are not willing to explore, learn, understand, and change their behaviours. It won’t work if the relationship is not supposed to last. If it is the wrong relationship. However, if it is the wrong relationship then this can also be a huge learning curve for both partners to help them in future relationships.
Coaching gives them the tools they need to form a happy and healthy relationship.
These couples, however, are in the vast minority when they come to coaching with me.
. Will coaching save my marriage? So to return to the topic of today’s post.
The answer is that depends on you and your partner. The vast majority of couples have saved their marriage by choosing to come to Relationship Coaching.
It succeeds because you both commit to a deeper understanding of yourselves and each other. You can make informed decisions instead of relying on guessing or beliefs that may or may not be true if you learn why you behave the way they do.
Replacing old patterns of behaviour with new ones often necessitates practice. It's similar to learning to ride a bicycle in that it can be weird at first.
You now have additional options thanks to your new understanding.
Choices about whether or not any of your existing limiting ideas are currently serving them well. They can choose to alter their behaviours in order to better benefit themselves. They have the option of meeting their partner's needs now that they know where to look.
Coaching allows you to make informed decisions and takes the guessing out of whether you should stay together or separate.