Which emotions are in control of your relationship?
I want to share some advice with you today that may have an impact on your relationship.
When we believe we aren't getting what we want from a relationship—by this, I mean a relationship that has previously been successful—our emotions can run wild and confound us. We may experience a sense of being stuck or numb due to a sense of loss and not knowing what to do.
You can let negative, counterproductive emotions "control" your behaviour, choices, and actions and, ultimately, steer the course of your relationship. The overriding emotions that we have are what we allow to create our relationship in the small moments of each day. They can affect how you receive your partner and receive what they are doing or trying to give to us. Our perception of our relationship is affected by the emotions we are feeling at the time.
You may have fear:
that things will be worse or similar to what they are today in the future.
that leaving the relationship is the only course of action because it is unhealthy.
that leaving is also the incorrect move. What if you end the relationship only to discover that the new one ends almost exactly the same way?
All of this can be really unsettling. It distances a person from their true selves. It forces individuals into a position where they begin to act against their morals and principles.
You may feel like a failure:
I shouldn't be heard or loved because I'm not good enough.
Everything I do is incorrect.
I'm solely to blame.
There are numerous more bad feelings that can cause someone to become defensive, trapped, and withdrawn to the point that they are shielding themselves from the outside world. If your partner is a part of this and is engaging in it as well, the relationship is very precarious.
What about Courage, then?
Well, having courage may also be frightening.
However, courage can spur someone to investigate the true nature of the relationship's problems. To better understand their partner and how they "tick," one may be inspired to take action. The desire to enhance one's relationship and emotional state can inspire someone to seek assistance.
Therefore, when I talk about Fear, Failure, and Courage, I'm urging you to think about these possibilities and determine which condition you're in for yourself. Fear can be emotionally draining because it often doesn't result in action. Failure makes you helpless and stuck. Courage could be what you need to turn things around despite the fear you are feeling.
Encourage yourself to have the guts to alter your emotions and mental narratives so that you can explore what might be rather than what you currently think is the case.
The bravery to do so will also be present if you feed your mind's curiosity and drive to act. The fear of doing nothing will go as a result.
Relationships end for the wrong reasons so frequently. Keep that from happening to yours. Sometimes all it takes to get things back on track and even better is a little courage.
I see so many couples who have lost their way in their relationship because they misread one another's intentions or communication and now feel inadequate to one another.
It may require bravery to learn and comprehend what is truly occurring in your relationship and why, but courage results in understanding and knowledge for them. These couples' courage provides them with the solutions they've been seeking.
Instead of dread, let courage be what propels you forward.