I talk about connection with my clients so much that I am sure they get tired of hearing the word!
Connection is at the foundation of every strong, healthy, happy, long term relationship.
If you and your partner have little to no connection then you will not have a fulfilling relationship.
Love and connection is a fundamental part of creating a relationship.
Without connection, you feel empty, insignificant and alone. You may feel invisible and lonely when you aren't alone. It can feel very painful, your expectations of the relationship are shattered and you wonder what the point of being together is.
Having a strong connection with your partner contributes to your feeling of well being. It is that wonderful knowing that someone has your back, who wants to spend time with you and loves your company. We feel valued and seen. Like we matter. All of the wonderful feelings of being in a relationship come flooding in when our connection with our partner is consistent and reliable, at least for most of the time.
Many couples fear that once the connection has gone they won't be able to get it back. "The spark has gone." they say, "It just isn't the same between us anymore. We used to be so happy and so good together."
I work with couples every day and I can share that every couple experiences huge changes in their level of happiness, contentment and love when they improve their connection. Their doubts about their relationship slowly but surely trickle away as week by week they take focused action to improve their connection. The conflict that they once had so frequently, steadily reduces, and in its place, they have more fun and start to remember how it once was.
It is often not quite the same as it once was as so much time has passed, life has changed, children have arrived, or new jobs or businesses or living situations have evolved.
But a new era can emerge for them.
A new relationship with the same person.
A fresh start, a new curiosity for what is possible emerges at the first sign of a glimmer of hope.
To improve connection it takes:
Focus
Time
A rearrangement of priorities
Patience
Commitment
Know-how.
“If You Always Do What You've Always Done, You'll Always Get What You've Always Got.” ~ Henry Ford.
The willingness to change is an essential part of this process.
Yes, it sounds dramatic but I am not suggesting that you change your personality, or your goals, your values or your job. I am suggesting that you put your relationship at the very top of your list of priorities. That you become willing to look at and change your habits, behaviour, and thought processes and take action to not only save your relationship but to create a relationship that you are proud of.
Can you muster up the courage to take complete responsibility for your role in your relationship?
It is common for people to believe that communication is the key to a successful relationship. And effective communication can indeed be the saving grace for many, and this is because effective communication creates...yes, connection! And defensive communication or even worse, no communication dissolves connection immediately. Connection can be created or broken in a second. Deep connection requires consistency. And time. And then trust begins to build.
Trust and loyalty are, for the majority of people at the top of their list for what they desire in their relationship. Trust and loyalty come from a steady supply of connection.
A large part of my work with couples is to help them to increase their connection.
If you would like to learn more about my work then please get in touch or make an appointment for a complimentary consultation.
See you soon,
Jane