Updated: Mar 14
Relationships are an integral part of our lives, and when faced with difficulties, it can feel like an uphill battle. That’s why it’s important to seek out the help of a professional who can offer guidance and support. A relationship coach can help you to identify patterns in your relationships that can be improved and to develop a plan to move forward. In this article, we will take a look at the benefits of relationship coaching, the differences between relationship coaching and counselling, and provide tips on how to find and work with a qualified relationship coach.
What is Relationship Coaching?
Relationship coaching focuses specifically on relationship issues and conflicts. It is different from traditional counselling and therapy in that it is focused on helping individuals and couples to identify and create solutions to their relationship problems. Unlike counselling, relationship coaching focuses on the foundations of the relationship and what the couple wants to create within their relationship for the future, we look at what is currently working, (even if you don't currently feel as though anything is!) and use strategies to help you to gain a clearer understanding of yourself, your partner, and your relationship.
Relationship coaching is also different from Marriage counselling in that it is much more goal-oriented. It is focused on helping individuals and couples to identify what they want from their relationships and to create plans to achieve their goals. It is not focused on helping individuals to overcome their past experiences or traumas, although it can be used to address these issues.
Relationship coaching is typically done in private sessions with a qualified relationship coach. During these sessions, the coach will help individuals and couples to identify the areas of their relationship that need attention, create a plan to address these issues, and provide guidance and support to help them reach their goals.
Benefits of Relationship Coaching
There are many benefits to working with a relationship coach. Here are a few of the most important ones:
Relationship Coaching can help you to see your relationship from a different perspective. Coaching can help you to see what is working in your relationship and the qualities and values of your partner.
More effective communication: Relationship coaching can help couples to improve their communication skills and to identify areas where communication can be improved. It can also help them to learn how to effectively express their thoughts and feelings without resorting to blame or criticism. We look at communication as a way of creating more connection for the couple instead of more distance which is very common.
Improved problem-solving skills: Relationship coaching can help individuals and couples to identify why there are problems in their relationship and how to resolve them without necessarily focusing on the problem directly. It can also help them to develop better problem-solving skills and to identify areas where their problem-solving skills can be improved.
Being more conscious: Couples often behave with knee-jerk reactions and responses in relationships. They don't always pay attention to their own behaviour or how they affect their partner and how they feel. From coaching, couples tend to see how they are creating their relationship with every small choice they make and become conscious in their actions to create a closer connection with their partner.
Happier, healthier relationships: Relationship coaching can help individuals and couples to identify areas of their relationship that can be improved, and to develop plans to address these areas. It can also help them to develop a better understanding of each other and to create a more supportive and loving relationship.
More self-awareness and understanding of each other: Relationship coaching can help individuals and couples to become more aware of their thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. This can help them to become more aware of how their actions and reactions are affecting their relationships. Coaching can help a couple understand each other better, why they react the way they do, what they need from you as their partner, and how best to give it to them. Couples who feel there is distance between them benefit greatly from this, they begin to see each other in a new light.
Improved overall well-being: Relationship coaching can help individuals and couples to become more aware of how their relationship is impacting their overall well-being. It can help them to identify areas where their well-being can be improved and create a plan to achieve this goal. Statistically, couples who are happy in their relationships live 5-8 years longer than those in unhappy relationships.
Relationship Coaching vs. Marriage Counselling or Couples Therapy
Although relationship coaching and marriage counselling share some similarities, there are some key differences between the two.
Marriage Counselling is typically used to address long-term issues, such as trauma or mental health issues, addictions, and domestic violence while relationship coaching is more focused on helping individuals and couples to identify and create solutions to their relationship problems whilst taking a more positive and proactive approach. Marriage Counselling is also more focused on helping individuals to overcome their past experiences and traumas, while relationship coaching is more focused on helping individuals and couples to create actions and a plan to move forward.
Qualities of a Good Relationship Coach
When looking for a qualified relationship coach, it is important to look for someone who has the right qualifications and experience. Here are some qualities to look for in a good relationship coach:
Experience: It is important to find a relationship coach who has experience working with couples and individuals in similar situations. A good relationship coach should have experience in helping individuals and couples to identify areas of their relationship that need attention and to create plans to address these issues.
Knowledge of the subject: A good relationship coach should have a thorough understanding of the topics that are relevant to relationships, such as communication, problem-solving, and conflict resolution.
Listening skills: A good relationship coach should be an effective listener. They should be able to listen to both sides of the story and to help individuals and couples to identify areas of their relationship that need attention.
Empathy: A good relationship coach should be empathic and understanding. They should be able to put themselves in the shoes of their clients and to provide guidance and support without judgment.
Tips for Working with a Relationship Coach
Working with a relationship coach can be a rewarding experience, but there are some tips to keep in mind to ensure that you get the most out of your sessions. Here are some tips for working with a relationship coach:
Be open and honest: It is important to be open and honest with your relationship coach. This will help them to understand your situation better and to provide you with the best possible guidance and support.
Set realistic goals: It is important to set realistic goals when working with a relationship coach. This will help to ensure that you are working towards achievable goals and that you are making progress.
Be open to feedback: It is important to be open to feedback from your relationship coach. This will help you to identify areas of your relationship that need attention and to create a plan to address these issues.
Follow through: It is important to follow through with the plan that you have created with your relationship coach. The sessions alone will not save your relationship, you must take the agreed actions between the sessions and build up new habits of relating. This will help you to reach your goals and to create a more harmonious relationship.
Relationships can be a challenge, but with the help of a qualified relationship coach, you can unlock your true potential and create a more supportive and loving relationship. Working with a relationship coach can help you to re-frame your perspective of your relationship and your partner. It can give you the tools and actions to make changes, often from the first session. If you have felt like you don't know what to do to change things within your relationship the coaching may be for you. You will develop better communication and problem-solving skills and dive deep into understanding your relationship and your partner.
You can create a healthier and more balanced relationship with the right guidance and support.
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