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Why Jealousy Is a Couples Problem - Not Just Your Partner's Problem

Updated: Mar 14, 2023




Why Jealousy Is a Couples Problem - Not Just Your Partner's Problem


I feel a little disappointed when I hear a person say that jealousy is their partner's problem. In that sentence alone there is a reason for the jealous partner to feel insignificant. Trust is crucial for a relationship to be strong, it takes two people to build a trusting relationship, so how can jealousy be one person's problem? If you dismiss your partner because they are feeling jealous, you are simply compounding their fear that they are not good enough or that you dont care as much as thay would like you to.

In my experience of working as a Relationship Coach with couples, I have found that often where there is jealousy there is an underlying cause that is not always obvious to the couple themselves.


Jealousy can be a huge issue for couples. But why is your partner jealous, and what can you do about it? It’s important to recognize that jealousy is not just a problem for your partner, but a problem for both of you as a couple. In this blog post, we’ll explore why jealousy is a couple's problem, and what you can do if your partner is jealous.

Jealousy can be rooted in past relationships, (this doesn't mean that you can't help your partner with it) but it may also stem from a lack of trust or insecurity in the current relationship. As a couple, it’s important to discuss the reasons behind your partner’s jealousy and to take proactive steps to build a secure relationship.


Tips for managing jealousy in a relationship


Jealousy in a relationship is a real problem, and it can have serious consequences if it isn’t addressed properly.

As a Relationship Coach, I have learned that what causes jealousy in a partner is often them feeling insignificant or undervalued in the relationship.


To address this and help your partner manage their jealousy, follow these tips:

  • Don't criticise or judge your partner, this can lead to feelings of unworthiness or that they are not good enough.

  • Show them that you appreciate them, and express admiration for their strengths.

  • Make building trust a priority, deep feelings of trust lead to a deep connection that creates a strong relationship.

  • Make sure your partner feels significant in your relationship. Show them that you care about their thoughts and feelings, and that you value them as an equal partner in the relationship.

  • Make sure your partner feels loved and adored. Reassure them regularly that you are committed to them, and that no one else matters.

  • Talk to your partner about their jealousy. Help them understand what they’re feeling, and that it’s okay to feel jealous sometimes.

  • Reassure them often. Show them that you understand and empathize with them and that you’re there to support them through their feelings.

  • Be a team. Remind your partner that you are on their side, and that you want to work together to overcome any obstacles that come up in the relationship.


By following these tips, you can help your partner manage their jealousy and build a stronger, healthier relationship. However, if the jealousy persists, relationship coaching could help you to get to the bottom of the problem and put things into place that will build trust and ensure needs are met. A coach can help couples gain insight into what causes jealousy in a partner and how best to cope with it in a way that respects both partners.


I can also provide couples with tools to improve communication within the relationship so they can better identify triggers for jealousy before they lead to conflict. Ultimately, by understanding why someone experiences jealousy and working together to solve the underlying problems, couples can learn to live peacefully and happily.


The most important step is to work together on building a strong, trusting relationship that fosters security and respect for each other.


Book your free consultation with Jane here.

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