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What Can I Do To Save My Relationship? #10

Updated: Nov 17, 2022

I want to concentrate on the men who are having relationship issues today. Women should read this, though, so they can appreciate the perspective of guys.

Men, you tend to be problem-solvers and fixers. You feel useful and successful at this point. It plays a significant role in your identity. You'll probably try to minimise any issue so you can fix it or find a solution—basically, so you can do so! This works quite nicely in your social or professional settings. Women can also perform in these situations similarly, by the way.

However, if you employ these skills while in a close relationship, your spouse can find it puzzling. She might think that you are logical and lack empathy. She may feel unheard and misunderstood if she thinks you don't understand what's bothering her.

What do you then?

As I've previously stated, women may perceive your attempt to scale back the issue as "missing the point" or "brushing it under the rug," even though this is frequently not the case. If you're left unsure about what to do next, you can frequently walk away. You might feel hopeless, perplexed, and unsuccessful.

If you do leave, your partner can take that as a lack of care about how she feels. She will now instill the notion that you don't love her and that she isn't enough.

Now that you both have formed a belief based on speculation as opposed to reality.

What would happen if you chose to listen and comprehend her world instead of giving advice or downplaying her problems?

This is a skill that must be learned and then honed.

Although I wrote this piece with guys in mind, women can also benefit much from it and have much to learn.

Everyone's emotional reactions to situations are significant and should be given consideration. Here, comprehension is crucial. Neither right nor wrong exists. Making your emotional response "correct" and theirs "wrong" prevents you from hearing them and results in a judgement that neither of you will benefit from.

This is one of the abilities you will master as part of the coaching framework I teach. Understanding how men and women differ in their emotional demands and reactions is a skill you'll gain as you grow as a couple.


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