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What Can I Do To Save My Relationship? #12

Updated: Nov 28, 2022

Be Aware Of Your Emotional State

I want you to consider the emotional state you are in most of the time within your relationship.

What exactly do I mean by that?

The way you interact with your spouse will greatly influence how they treat you as well as how you respond to them.

Positive vs. Negative State

We all experience bad feelings occasionally. However, overriding negativity has a powerful impact on both your mind and body.

What were once funny behaviours can become irritating. Your partner's tiny peculiarities that used to make you smile can suddenly drive you crazy. Why? Not because they have altered, but rather because of a shift in how you react to them.

Your mind will cooperate with you if you choose to stay pessimistic and will assist you in becoming laser-focused on negativity. It will uncover everything that now aggravates you, and you'll begin to stack your irritations so that they eventually become resentments.

You are capable of making a change. Other people don't. It is up to you.

Your state is crucial.

When you look for the positive, you are in a positive state. One where you also look for different interpretations of their actions and replies.

Since you are not inside their mind, you cannot determine what they are thinking. You may be jumping to conclusions about what they mean or their behaviour means that simply is not true at all.

No one can judge. You are the only one who can evaluate yourself. Your partner is the only person who has the authority to evaluate themselves. Nobody else has lived their life or you have experienced their life.

So, if you catch yourself feeling down, ask yourself why. Ask yourself what benefits there are to maintaining this negative attitude. What do you 'gain' by feeling this way?

Ask yourself if these are "positive" victories if you receive more sympathy, are noticed more, or have your partner pay more attention to you.

What would happen if you choose to switch to a happy state? Then, what would be the benefits?

How about:

Laughter or a wider smile

Increase your capacity for genuine love, your capacity for pleasure, your openness to ideas, and your capacity for problem-solving

"Your state is key," I say again.

Be willing to receive

Discover how to switch states

A skill that must be learned and honed is the ability to alter state. Once mastered, life offers countless fresh opportunities. In all facets of your life, not just in your relationship.

Jane x


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