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What Can I Do To Save My Relationship? #8

Updated: Nov 17, 2022

Improve Your Self Talk

I want you to consider the language you use when speaking to yourself today. We all have an inner dialogue. We employ words when we consider a subject, a problem, or just how the day is going.

The language we use greatly influences how we feel and how we are feeling at any particular time. So, do you speak in a way that will benefit you or one that might hurt you?

For instance:

If you notice that you are feeling furious about anything, you can start feeding yourself words to express that emotion, such as annoyance, rage, or fury. As you do this, your anger will get more intense. Consider expressing your anger after first acknowledging it with nicer words. You could change your rage to annoyance.

Do you frequently tell yourself "I don't know what to do" when you are stuck? If so, there is a good possibility that nothing will change because you just instructed your mind not to do anything. What would happen if you switched to wondering when you will find a solution? Your brain can now start to think about solutions rather than getting stuck.

Crisis in Couples

The internal state that couples in crisis create, the language they use to themselves and to one another, and other factors all have a big impact on the state of their relationship.

They switch their attention from one another to themselves. They start to "count" their grudges and develop an explanation for their feelings and actions as a result. They unknowingly foster a bad environment, speak negatively, and lose several chances to find solutions and positives.

In this situation, they prioritise being 'right' over their relationship which never helps you to create connection with your partner.

Feeling bad about yourself, or seeing the negatives in your partner will prevent you from having the relationship that you desire. Begin to notice where you are limiting your chances to feel good or to create good feelings within your relationship and actively choose different thoughts and words.

Modify your language.

You can alter your emotional response by altering the language you use to express your sentiments.

Asking yourself, "How can I now improve this situation so that we both benefit?" is the key to giving yourself the most options and the greatest results.

By the way, "NOTHING" is typically the first response that is given. However, don't accept this as the final answer. Keep trying to improve yourself.

Now, ask yourself, "Okay, but what may I discover that might be useful?" and "What can I do right now to support my partner?"

Keep in mind that you have the power to talk yourself into a happy or negative attitude, and this, in turn, will affect your partners' behaviours and responses to you.

When you feel bad about yourself, or are thinking negative thoughts about your partner, this has a big effect on your relationship.

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