Stop Shutting Down
A relationship in distress cannot be saved by emotionally closing yourself off.
As it may relieve the pain and hurt you've been feeling, it can seem like the most self protective thing to do. But if you isolate yourself, you've also created a wall between you and your relationship. Now, connecting with your partner will be difficult.
Many people claim they have no feelings. No feelings of love or affection for their family or for their partner. "Really not much at all"
Because if you block out the pain, you also block out a lot of other emotions. You walk into a space that is emotionally devoid and leaves you feeling numb. You might also feel alone.
It is vital to find out what has happened and why
This emotional state is there for a reason. It can feel safe and protective and will have been created for that reason – Protection. However, it won’t be giving you what you truly desire – which is a loving connection.
We are built to go away from pain and toward pleasure. People who are numb don't feel anything, even any pain or significant pleasure.
Both your values and your most fundamental human needs are not being met by this feeling this way.
Be conscious that any state of discomfort, fatigue, or numbness results from not being who you are meant to be.
Understanding who you are and the patterns you have formed depends on understanding what you need from life and why and how those needs must be addressed. Some of these tendencies might be rather damaging.
Without first understanding yourself, it is impossible to establish a loving and happy connection with another person. As a result, you'll be free to become the person you want to be and succeed with your spouse.
Jane x